Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Rediscovering The Hand Talk: how to determine if you are in a good relationship

Even after being married for over a year, I am STILL not completely moved out of my parents house.  This is either because I have way too much "stuff" or I have attachment issues.  I am pretty confident that its the first issue because I haven't missed any of the stuff left behind at all.

This afternoon we had lunch with my mom and dad at their house.  My parents are so wonderful to always invite us over (or out to eat) just about every Sunday.  They go the extra mile to make sure we always feel welcome to stop over every time.  They also encourage me to take things to my own house after every visit.

This time, I took a bunch of my college textbooks, school supplies, pieces of art I have made, binders, and even a few bags of clothes that were still hanging in my closet.  I LOVE going through bags and boxes that have been hiding for a long time. I love to rediscover my old treasures that were important enough to store away rather than throw out.

One of the things I discovered tucked away in a big leather planner (before the days of my cell phone calendar!) was a small, laminated card that Ryan Skoog handed out in youth group when I was a youth leader.

What is this "hand talk" card?  Its a pledge for purity.  The card states:
I will prepare for the right person. For my God, my marriage, my kids, and myself I promise not to awaken love until it is time (Song of Solomon 2:7).
I will avoid any action, situation, or person that could awaken love before it's time.  I pray that you understand what really matters, so that you may live pure and blameless lives (Philippians 1:10).
The hand talk principal describes how to determine if the person you are interested in is fit to be a possible spouse one day.

Your thumb represents a priority of faith.  Your thumb can touch every other finger on your hand, it is the most important aspect of your relationship.

Your pointer finger represents direction.  Are you both headed down the same path? Are you both headed towards the same goal or destination or are you moving apart from one another.


Your middle finger represents communication.  Is it effective and uplifting? Can you be yourself and really connect?

Your ring finger represents core values.  Do they line up with one another? Is the other person's values consistent with yours?

And also very important, your pinky finger represents chemistry.  You can't have a relationship without being physically and emotionally attracted to each other :-)

For those of you who may still be looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right, hopefully this guide is a helpful standard for you. No one is perfect, but you need to set healthy standards to have a great relationship.

Although this was meant to be geared for romantic relationships, this could even be a good way to help you pick friendships or determine which ones are healthy(perhaps minus the chemistry). 

How did you determine who your Mr./Mrs. Right was? How are you currently choosing your friendships? 

Here's to Dustin, the man I saved everything for and the man whose hand fits perfectly to mine.

Cheers (toasting with my pumpkin spice latte from Starbucks),