Sunday, September 5, 2010

Rediscovering The Hand Talk: how to determine if you are in a good relationship

Even after being married for over a year, I am STILL not completely moved out of my parents house.  This is either because I have way too much "stuff" or I have attachment issues.  I am pretty confident that its the first issue because I haven't missed any of the stuff left behind at all.

This afternoon we had lunch with my mom and dad at their house.  My parents are so wonderful to always invite us over (or out to eat) just about every Sunday.  They go the extra mile to make sure we always feel welcome to stop over every time.  They also encourage me to take things to my own house after every visit.

This time, I took a bunch of my college textbooks, school supplies, pieces of art I have made, binders, and even a few bags of clothes that were still hanging in my closet.  I LOVE going through bags and boxes that have been hiding for a long time. I love to rediscover my old treasures that were important enough to store away rather than throw out.

One of the things I discovered tucked away in a big leather planner (before the days of my cell phone calendar!) was a small, laminated card that Ryan Skoog handed out in youth group when I was a youth leader.

What is this "hand talk" card?  Its a pledge for purity.  The card states:
I will prepare for the right person. For my God, my marriage, my kids, and myself I promise not to awaken love until it is time (Song of Solomon 2:7).
I will avoid any action, situation, or person that could awaken love before it's time.  I pray that you understand what really matters, so that you may live pure and blameless lives (Philippians 1:10).
The hand talk principal describes how to determine if the person you are interested in is fit to be a possible spouse one day.

Your thumb represents a priority of faith.  Your thumb can touch every other finger on your hand, it is the most important aspect of your relationship.

Your pointer finger represents direction.  Are you both headed down the same path? Are you both headed towards the same goal or destination or are you moving apart from one another.

Your middle finger represents communication.  Is it effective and uplifting? Can you be yourself and really connect?

Your ring finger represents core values.  Do they line up with one another? Is the other person's values consistent with yours?

And also very important, your pinky finger represents chemistry.  You can't have a relationship without being physically and emotionally attracted to each other :-)

For those of you who may still be looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right, hopefully this guide is a helpful standard for you. No one is perfect, but you need to set healthy standards to have a great relationship.

Although this was meant to be geared for romantic relationships, this could even be a good way to help you pick friendships or determine which ones are healthy(perhaps minus the chemistry). 

How did you determine who your Mr./Mrs. Right was? How are you currently choosing your friendships? 

Here's to Dustin, the man I saved everything for and the man whose hand fits perfectly to mine.

Cheers (toasting with my pumpkin spice latte from Starbucks),


Maggie Thomas said...

Oh my goodness I remember this! Still a good reminder for me. By the way, I also epic failed today on not saying hi to you at the registration booth...sorry! PS I got a pumpkin spice latte today, too, but it wasn't as good as i remember it! Kind of a letdown! haha xoxo

Jamie Willow said...

I run across this little card from Ryan every so often too :) it's good stuff!

ps. I gave you a little award over at my blog...come see!

Kelly Loy Gilbert said...

I just had a dream this afternoon (during a nap, haha) about leaving things in my parents' home, and it was kind of traumatic. I had kind of a hard time saying goodbye to my childhood home.

anyway, I loved this story! I was in youth group too and purity pledges were a big deal. That must have been awesome to look back and realize how it was all worth it, no? :) It's so crazy thinking about what it would have been like to tell your teenage self what was in store!

Natalie said...

I had a pumpkin spice latte today! a few days later then you but still thoroughly enjoyed every morsel of it. :) and i totally remember that card, and I LOVE going threw old memory boxes, sometimes one box can take a whole day!

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